When You Feel the Need to Talk to Someone Grieving
Remember that you’re dealing with raw nerves, sadness, and anger. Your words will matter in ways you can’t even imagine.
I wrote a bit of a rant yesterday and instead of posting it at my non-religious widowhood group on Facebook as I’d planned, I mistakenly posted it on my Facebook page for everyone to see. I don’t know how I made such a mistake but by the time I realized it there were already dozens of comments from people obviously not in our widowhood group. At this writing there are 97 comments, some of them mine.
This is what I wrote — for my FB group’s eyes only:
I’m faced constantly with friends and family telling me Ed and I will be together when I die, and that’ll be a good thing. Neither one of us believed in anything but darkness when we die, but I’m torn between telling them I don’t believe it or just nodding and keeping my mouth shut. The latter seems dishonest, and it makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time I don’t want to create an issue over life after death.
It’s such a common thing to say to someone who’s grieving, so I doubt it’ll ever end. I guess I’ll just have to put up with it, though it grinds me more and more, the further I get into widowhood.
