Me at the Oscars: Fabulous or Fizzle, 65 years and counting

Note: I wrote this piece on Oscar Night, February 25, 2013 and almost forgot about it until about an hour ago, when I suddenly remembered I wrote a piece five years ago about the Academy Awards! I could use it here! So here it is, unchanged in five years. My take on my long, long unrequited love affair with the Oscars.